Endless Musings

This blog contains the random thoughts, feelings, and observations of a slightly "left of normal" young woman.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy V-Day (I guess)

Today's Valentines Day. That wonderful day for people in love to express that love. I suppose it's also a day for those of us not in love to feel extra bitter (or sad.) I feel pretty much indifferent. It's not the first Valentine's Day that I have spent single. Unless I marry the love of my life within the next year, I imagine that it won't be my last Valentine's Day spent single.
I'm not an overly sentimental person. I used to get hung up on things like Valentine's Day when I was a teenager. Back then things that seem trivial now seemed larger than life. I think that's how it is for most people. The older you get the less time and engergy you have to spend on the little things.
I'm not going to lament like one of those way too bitter people who say things like, "Valentine's Day sucks, it's for losers and card makers." I admit there's been moments when I have felt like saying such a thing. I'm not that bitter though. Yes, I'm single but that has just as much to do with decisions that I have made (and that I don't regret) than with other people breaking my heart. I learned a long time ago that I am far better off alone than in a bad relationship with someone else. I also believe that when (and if) true love is meant to find me that it will naturally.
Since the break up with my last boyfriend I have had many things to keep me from spending too much time dwelling on him. I have had to deal with both my mother and one of my best friends each battling cancer at the same time. I have also had good things that have kept my mind off my previous relationship. I have joined several grass roots groups in my area and have even started hosting one. Through these groups I've met some intresting like-minded people. Also, these groups have taken some of the time and energy that I might have been tempted to spend lamenting over breaking up with someone who is obviously emotionally devoid.
As far as feeling jealous today because some of my neighbors and co-workers are getting cards and flowers in the mail, I feel elated. I might not have gotten a traditional Valentine's Day card this weekend, but I got something even better. It was a letter from the car company saying that they're waiving any leftover charges (there was about $900 left) and that the car is offically mine! Hooray! I will take that over a mushy-gushy "Happy Valentine's Day" card any day!

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